


15.18 Rewrite

by castielgrace



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28986498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielgrace/pseuds/castielgrace
Summary: Just a simple rewrite of 15.18. Not much is changed. Probably going to be part of a longer work I'm about to start, as soon as I find the motivation to do so.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	15.18 Rewrite

Dean takes a deep breath and surveys the room. No way out. Not this time. He turns to Castiel, his voice shaking. “Everybody’s gonna die, Cas. Everybody. I can’t stop it. She’s gonna get through that door.

Castiel, with a resigned patience, acknowledges Dean. “I know.”

Dean doesn’t understand how Cas is so calm about this. This really looks like the end. He elaborates, “And she’s gonna kill you, and then she’s gonna kill me.” He catches Cas’s eyes, and whispers, “I’m sorry.”

Castiel waits a moment, thinking. He finally begins. “Wait, there is. There’s one thing she’s afraid of. There's one thing strong enough to stop her.”

Dean is completely confused by this point, but his eyes urge Cas to continue.

“When Jack was dying, I... I made a deal, to save him.”

This is more than Dean can take. Not here. Not now. “You.. what?”

Cas looks nervous, but continues speaking, “Th-The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and... it would take me forever.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

Cas avoids answering the question directly, but continues on his own train of thought. “I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be, what -- what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want... it’s something I know I can’t have. But I think I know -- I think I know now. Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.”

Dean is exasperated now, frustrated. Why has Cas chosen this moment to get all cryptic. Yet it is Cas, so it must be something important. Dean manages to get out, “What are you talking about, man?”

Castiel steps closer towards Dean, his eyes a mixture of grief and pride, as he continues. “I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken. You’re – You’re “Daddy’s Blunt Instrument.’ And you think that hate and anger that’s – that’s what drives you. That’s who you are. It’s not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You’re the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.”

Cas is hardly stopping to take breaths now, his tone getting more urgent, more desperate.

“You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you.”

Castiel sharply exhales, struggling for words.

Tears in his eyes, he finally manages, “You changed me, Dean.”

Dean is still flustered by the moment, but he can tell that something’s coming. Something bad. He can tell that Cas is preparing to make some kind of sacrifice play. But how? Confused, Dean asks, “Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Castiel’s blue eyes pierce right into Dean’s soul as he utters the next three words, bringing the weight of the world down onto Dean’s shoulders. “Because it is.”

Dean knows he can’t keep doing this, can’t keep losing Cas like this. “Don’t do this, Cas,” he urges desperately. But too late.

Cas steps forward, and with a heartbreaking confidence, he says, “I love you,” as he leans in to kiss Dean.

Dean is taken aback, but leans into the kiss, this one moment of bliss making him temporarily forget everything going on around them, everything except Cas’s lips on his, the warmth of his body on Dean’s, the feeling of them, together, finally.

But the moment wasn’t meant to last.

Billie pounds on the door once more, and this time it’s strong enough to break through. As Billie enters, the Empty materializes out of thin air.

Dean, still shaking from everything that has just happened, takes in the scene with frightened eyes. “Cas?”

“Goodbye, Dean,” Castiel says, as he shoves Dean onto the ground. He smiles as he takes one final look at Dean, then the Empty engulfs him and Billie and then disappears.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please give feedback!


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